I used to finish my classes with ‘yoga rage!' It's what my husband Ede referred to as the feeling that I had when I left that the classes I attended regularly at my favourite studio in London. I would walk out of the studio furious, and not with the blissed out feeling of peace I longed for as I emerged into central London and headed for the tube! It took me a long time to understand where this feeling came from. It was a blend of frustration and anger and it normally came when I had been pushed through a physically demanding class and also made to feel like I was competing with the person on the mat next to me.
So much of my yoga practice ten years ago was focused around achieving more, so called, advanced poses and pushing my body into positions that really weren't safe or really ever achievable for me. I tried for years to master head stand and hand stand and had a lot of crashes along the way and I always felt like I was failing in my practice in some way, that I wasn't advancing.
When I did my first yoga teacher training this was unfortunately compounded as we spent a lot of time trying to master arm balances and poses of strength. I felt that if I couldn't master them then I would never be able to teach yoga. In my final exam of that first yoga teacher training, I led the final 30 minutes of the practice, which included savasana. I realised that I just wanted to teach that, 'savasana' and how to help people to rest, slow down and find ease and peace. This then led me to slower and more gentler practices. I found Kristene Weber at Subtle Yoga online and she gave me the courage through her writing and practices to embrace a gentle and subtle approach to yoga . I prefer, as she does, teaching people how to “slow down, self-regulate, develop greater interoceptive awareness, feel more comfortable in their own skin, learn to love themselves, learn to connect with themselves, understand their minds, and learn to develop a more intimate relationship with spirit.”
I have realised over years now of subtle gentle practice that yoga is largely experiential. The advanced practices I tried to master in the past were getting in the way of my experience, they were making it negative and even dangerous and I realise now that what actually matters is ‘awareness' of my subtle body and the movement of energy and breath.
I teach now that yoga is really awareness training! My yoga practice and teaching has now become about tuning out of my analytical mind and diving into a deeper wisdom and knowing. I've learnt to to feel into my body, and beyond the body into the subtle body, and the deeper levels of mind. This is what I hope to pass onto you when you practice with me. So that you don't ever leave a class with ‘yoga rage’ or a feeling of inadequacy, that you aren't good enough, that instead you leave with a blissed out feeling that comes with slowing down and listening to your body and finding moments of real peace.
If you would like an afternoon of peace and healing then I would love to see you for the Sound Healing, Voice and Restorative Somatic Rest Afternoon Retreat on Sunday 8th of September there are a few tickets still available.
Join us for an afternoon of sound healing and restorative, somatic rest that invokes feelings of safety, integration and sweet connection in the warm and welcoming studio in South Melbourne.
Take this chance to be guided through gentle somatic movements, restorative poses and bathe in the soothing sounds of crystal singing bowls and my singing voice. You'll have the opportunity to completely unwind, letting go of stress and tension in both your mind and body and then you'll be treated to a delicious spread of plant based home-made baking, tea and connection with like minded souls.
Join us for an afternoon of deep rest and connection with your body, mind and spirit. Learn to rest, move slower and connect deeply though the power of sound.
I can't wait to share this special afternoon retreat experience with you.
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